This is the 2nd album by Cousins of the Moose - the pop/folk band only a mother could love. Recording for "Land of Five-Pin Bowling" began in late January of 2000 and wrapped up almost exactly a year later. We finally got around to releasing the album in April of 2002. This second album by Cousins of the Moose is the first one to feature contributions by Mike Thompson and also marks the first time Pappy & Mick actually invested a bit of money into the production with the purchase of a Fostex FD-8 track digital recording console from Steve's Music in downtown Toronto.
1. WELCOME TO THE LAND OF
FIVE-PIN BOWLING (Kern)
Welcome to the world of summer camp singalong with all the same kids you
couldn't stand during the school year. American money now accepted at par.
lead vocals - Mick
backing vocals - Pappy & Carol Harrison
guitar & tambourine - Mick
2. BARS, KARS AND VARS (Morris)
A rollickin' romp through the backroads of Eastern Ontario. Raise a toast to
the good times...and Big Bird.
lead vocals - Pappy
backing vocals - Mick
guitar & guitar solo - Pappy
bass & percussion - Mick
3. A SHIP NAMED KATIE (Kern)
GTS Katie sailed the seven seas during the summer of 2000 with a cargo of Canadian
toy soldiers and all their APC's and tanks and cool stuff like that. Trouble was,
someone somewhere didn't want to foot the bill. Send in the clowns. A Liberian
shipping company (aren't they all) recently purchased the GTS Katie for $2.08
million.
lead & backing vocals
- Mick
guitar, bass & percussion - Mick
mandolin leads - Pappy
4. WHEN DENNIS BONVIE SCORES A GOAL (Morris)
The first hit single from the album, all about the (former) icon of the American
Hockey League Hamilton Bulldogs and an astute examination of the eternal
tug-of-war between girlfriend and hockey...or collecting Kraft Dinner boxes
to put on a real cool website. While with the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins
of the AHL, Mr. Bonvie got to hear the song. No details on his reaction.
Pappy would like to point out that in no way does this song sully the good
reputation of Mr. Bonvie. It should also be noted the Bonvie actually scored
a goal in his first game with the Boston Bruins of the NHL (2002 season).
lead vocals - Larisa Deme
backing vocals, guitar & leads - Pappy
bass & banjo - Mick
drums - Dr. Rhythm
5. FIREWATER (Kern)
Written after having seen Carolyn Mark perform at the Horseshoe Club in
Toronto back in May of 2000. Now that doesn't mean that Ms. Mark
drove Mick to drink; no, it's the continual plight of the once mighty Habs
that has led Mick to the bottle.
as vocals, guitar, leads &
bass - Mick
6. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT (Morris)
Okay folks, relax. Before you go off half-cocked about this little ditty
regarding the invasion of Canada, consider the title. Then consider the
self-mocking chorus at the end of the song. Then, and only then, consider
suing Pappy, 'cause he wrote the song.
lead vocals, guitar & snappy
leads - Pappy
backing vocals, bass and banjo - Mick
7. ALIEN (Kern)
Yet another relationship song by Mick. Also the name of the first restricted movie
Mick ever saw at a theatre, way back in June 1979. So there. And he got a copy
of the movie on DVD for his birthday. So there.
lead vocals - Mick
backing vocals - Larisa Deme & Pappy
guitars, bass & keyboards - Mick
8. NORTHERN ONTARIO BLUES (Mac
Beattie w/ lyrics by Pappy)
A fine recounting of what almost (still could?) happened with Toronto's
mega-garbage. Shame on you Mel. Based on a tune written by the
great Mac Beattie. The Moose do two of his songs of their first album.
You should really buy that first album. So there.
lead vocals, guitars and bass
- Pappy
harmonica - Mike Thompson
9. JOHNNY (RUN FOR) MILES (Kern)
A true story about a Canadian sporting hero who won the Boston Marathon
back in 1926 and 1928. Mr. Miles currently resides in Hamilton, Ontario,
for some reason. Richelle likes this song, or so she told me.
lead vocals - Mick
backing vocals - Mike Thompson
chiming electric guitar solo - Pappy
12-string Fender acoustic guitar & bass - Mick
2nd electric guitar & harmonica - Mike Thompson
10. OTTAWA 67's THEME SONG (David M. Fox)
Lead vocals & guitar by Pappy. Backing vocals by a gang of drunken louts
we found aimlessly wandering the snow-covered parking lot of the Ottawa
Civic Centre, hopelessly waiting for a number 7 OC Transpo bus. Pappy
found this song while thumbing through one of Mick's OHA programs circa
1977. Brian Kilrea for Prime Minister, even if he does like Anne Murray.
11. HITTING ALL THE REDS (Kern)
No, this is not a story about smashing Communist cells within the government nor
is it about the 44-game hitting streak by Pete Rose, though he should be in the
Baseball Hall-of-Fame. It's about traffic lights. London's Burning!
lead vocals - Carol
Harrison
backing vocals - Mick Kern
country gentleman electric guitar solo - Pappy
guitar & bass - Mick
drums - Dr. Rhythm
12. JACKRABBIT (Kern)
(photo (C) Toronto Star)
A very true Canadian story about the bankrobber turned critically acclaimed
author turned bankrobber Stephen Reid. Pappy says we need at least one
Canadian bankrobber song per album. Daddy was a bankrobber!
lead vocals - Mick
beautiful MOR-friendly Michael Bolton acoustic guitar solo - Pappy
tasty slide guitar leads & electric guitar solo - Mike Thompson
bass - Michael Cavanagh
acoustic guitar - Mick
13. BOB THE 400 YEAR OLD BEAVER (Morris)
Okay, you caught us. Pappy didn't write the music, only the fine lyrics.
Remember
Max the 2000 Year Old Mouse? He's ain't got nuttin' on ole' Bob. Stay tuned
for
the further adventures of Bob on future "Cousins of the Moose" albums.
Natch.
narration - Pappy
bass & snare drum - Mick
guitar & banjo - Pappy
wood chips - Bob The Beaver
14. LONG WEEKEND (Kern)
A shameless attempt to get played every May 2-4 weekend. We are open to
Canadian beer company sponsorships. We like free stuff. And long weekends.
lead vocals - Laura Rubin
backing vocals - Mick
electric guitar - Pappy
electric guitar leads - Mike Thompson
acoustic guitar, bass & banjo - Mick
15. WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT WOOD? (Kern)
And where would we be without wood? Probably in Hamilton. Dedicated to
Nicole Green of CITY-TV, hence the Cable 24 reference. How pithy.
Also dedicated to Randy Wood, Kerry Wood, Wilbur Wood, Woody Allen,
Woody Dumart, Woody Hayes, Woody Woodpecker, Ed Wood,
Natalie Wood, Ron Wood, Wood Gundy, Tiger Woods, James Woods (both of 'em),
I Want My Woody Back by the late great Barracudas,
Woodwards department stores, Woody from the Bay City Rollers,
Wooden Heart by Elvis Presley, Rod Woodward of the 1976
Grey Cup Champion Ottawa Rough Riders, Woodville Ontario (hockeytown,
Ontario), knock knock knock on wood, if you go out in the woods today,
don't take any wooden nickels, and wouldn't you wish this would end?
lead vocals - Mick
backing vocals - Pappy
guitar & bass - Mick
fine guitar solo - Pappy
Recorded on cassette 4-track, hence the bad sound.
16. WEDDING OF CLUBFOOT BILL (Earl Heywood)
The first song recorded for this album (October 1999), before Richelle Wilcox
left for fame and fortune in Australia during the Sydney Olympic Games. Once
she returned to Toronto, the entire song was re-recorded on the snowy evening
of December 13th, 2000 from 7:00 pm. to 9:00 p.m. eastern standard time (for
anyone who may wish to one day write the definitive biography on the Moose).
The song? It's about another Donnelly melee in Lucan, Ontario.
lead vocals - Karen
Richelle Wilcox
backing vocals - Pappy
banjo & bass - Mick
mandolin & square dance call - Pappy
17. MY OLD CANADIAN HOME (Wilf Carter)
If you play this Canadian folk classic backwards, you can hear Mike Bullard
begging you to watch his show. If you hold this song up to your ear, you can
hear the ocean. If you have the DVD version, you can listen to the Spanish
translation and watch the alternative ending.
lead vocals - Pappy
backing vocals - Mick
guitar, mandolin & bass - Pappy
banjo & percussion - Mick
18. ICE CREAM HEADACHE (Kern)
Early 1970's memories of chasing ice cream trucks as they crawled their way
through the streets of CFB Currie in downtown Calgary. And girls...always girls.
vocals & instruments - Mick
19. THE QUEEN VS. COUSINS OF THE MOOSE (Morris)
Okay, we've finally come to the highlight of this fine album, the Bohemian
Rhapsody for a lost generation. This true Canadian tale of justice and
redemption has been optioned by the producers of "Law and Order".
A classic Pappy endeavour boasts a cast of thousands Cecil B. DeMille
would be envious of.
And now, in no particular order, the cast:
Honourable Judge -
Michael Cavanagh
Crown Attorney - Richelle Wilcox
Defence Attorney - Mike Thompson
Wendy Mesley - Pappy
Mick - Mick (go figure)
Pappy - Pappy (ditto)
sound effects & crowd noise - Richelle & Mike
gavel - Mick
guitar, mandolin & bass - Pappy
catering - Swiss Chalet
20. LAURA (Kern)
As close to a contemporary dance song as the Moose will probably ever
get that doesn't involve a square dance call. Based on the evening of Saturday,
October 21st, 2000. Nothing has been changed to protect the guilty.
lead vocals - Mick
ripping electric guitar solo - Mike Thompson
acoustic guitar, bass & percussion - Mick
21. LAND OF FIVE-PIN BOWLING (Morris)
The title track to this fine album chronicles a revolutionary idea in bowling
and is a true Toronto story, to boot. Speaking of boots,
make sure you buy this CD and don't just tape it off your great Aunt Betsy who
accidentally purchased it at Wal-Mark last Sunday when what she really meant
to buy was the latest release by Hall & Oates. Are Hall & Oates still
releasing
albums? Are Hall & Oates still alive? Not that that really matters
anymore.
Jimi Hendrix has been dead for over 30 years and every year he puts out a new album.
Speaking of dying, I think we're long overdue for a real wicked case of world-wide
influenza, so you better enjoy this album while you can.
lead vocals - Pappy
banjo & bass - Mick
harmonica - Mike Thompson
acoustic guitar - Pappy
nails - Fredrico
LAND OF FIVE PIN BOWLING
All Paul Morris songs (C) 2001 Paul
Morris - registered with SOCAN
All Mick Kern songs (C) 2001 Mick Kern - registered with SOCAN
Song #8 - music & arrangement (C) Mac Beattie,
Beattie Music Inc.
Song #10 (C) David M. Fox
Song #13 music public domain
Song #16 (C) 1970 Earl Heywood - Waterless Melon Music BMI
Song #17 (C) Wilf Carter
Song #22 (C) Casey & Finnigan.
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